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braygun
Junior Boarder
Posts:43

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#191099 1 year, 7 months ago
A ham sandwich walks in and sits down at the bar. The bartender was busy cleaning glasses and, without looking up, says "what'll you have?". The ham sandwich orders a pint of Guinness. The bartender is about to pour the beer when he sees the ham sandwich and screams "GET OUT OF HERE!". The ham sandwich was a little confused and asked why; to which the bartender replied..........."we don't serve food here".
Tell me a lie and I will swear I will swear it's true....
scar1et_f1re
Platinum Boarder
Posts:4898
R U Kind?

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#197757 1 year, 6 months ago
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?

A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
FFF! Family is Forever!!!

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
The following user(s) said Thank You: funky420, lightchaser
funky420
Platinum Boarder
Posts:3268
If you stumble, make it part of the dance.

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#197817 1 year, 6 months ago
From my 11 yr old.

What do you see when the pilsbury doughboy bends over?


Doughnuts!
The voices tell me what to say
The following user(s) said Thank You: SunshineSue
SunshineSue
Platinum Boarder
Posts:29111
Life is sweeter for this!

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#203265 1 year, 6 months ago
The following user(s) said Thank You: funky420, dead_in_ky
scar1et_f1re
Platinum Boarder
Posts:4898
R U Kind?

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#203773 1 year, 6 months ago
SunshineSue wrote:
THE HUMAN BODY

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

.


I was snooping around, stealing some jokes.. and I re-read this. How do you know this Sweet Aunt Susie. Reading some good books at night
FFF! Family is Forever!!!

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
SunshineSue
Platinum Boarder
Posts:29111
Life is sweeter for this!

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#205391 1 year, 6 months ago









Chester
Moderator
Posts:30601
More or less in line

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#205395 1 year, 6 months ago
I can't come down, it's plain to see.
I can't come down, I've been set free.
Who you are, and what you do,
don't make no difference to me.
The following user(s) said Thank You: SunshineSue, dougieisirie
dougieisirie
Junior Boarder
Posts:131

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#205443 1 year, 6 months ago
Ok forgive me, a lot of people might know this one already, and I didn't go back and check to see if this joke had been posted, but I love it.

"What did one Deadhead say to the other after running out of weed?"
"What is this shitty music?"
"Some ask, why play Grateful Dead music??
For those that know, no answer is necessary,
For those that don't, no answer is possible."
funky420
Platinum Boarder
Posts:3268
If you stumble, make it part of the dance.

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#205445 1 year, 6 months ago
^^^^^ heard it, another is.....how do you hide money from a hippie? Under the soap!
The voices tell me what to say
Last Edit: 1 year, 6 months ago by funky420.
funky420
Platinum Boarder
Posts:3268
If you stumble, make it part of the dance.

Re: Heard any good jokes lately? Any bad ones?

#215955 1 year, 4 months ago
bump
The voices tell me what to say
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